Since several of my readers said they enjoyed the columns dealing with vagaries in our language, I'll do one more.
An old friend sent this, in an e-mail, entitled "Lexiphiles."
I did not find that word in my dictionary, but "lex" is a root concerning words and "phil" with love or strong attraction, I suppose a lexiphile is one who is attracted to words.
Anyway, I'm happy to share.
• To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
• When fish are in a school, they sometimes take debate.
• A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.
• When smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
• The professor discovered that her theory about earthquakes was on shaky ground.
• The batteries were given out free of charge.
• A dentist and a manicurist married; they fought tooth and nail.
• A will is a dead giveaway.
• If you don't pay your exorcist, you may get repossessed.
• Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I'll show you A-flat minor.
• With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
• You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
• Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
• A boiled egg is hard to beat.
• When you've seen one shopping mall, you've seen a mall.
• Police were called to a day care center where a 3-year-old was resisting a rest.
• Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
• A bicycle can't stand alone. It is two tired.
•When a clock is hungry, it can go back four seconds.
• The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
• He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
• When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
• The fellow who fell into the glass-making machine made a spectacle of himself.
• Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
Helen Taylor's column appears periodically in the Dawson Community News.