Wind advisory issued for Dawson County, surrounding areas
Wind gusts could reach up to 45 mph.
By allowing ads to appear on this site, you support the local businesses who, in turn, support local journalism.
To be read aloud with tongue in cheek
Placeholder Image

Since several of my readers said they enjoyed the columns dealing with vagaries in our language, I'll do one more.

An old friend sent this, in an e-mail, entitled "Lexiphiles."

I did not find that word in my dictionary, but "lex" is a root concerning words and "phil" with love or strong attraction, I suppose a lexiphile is one who is attracted to words.

Anyway, I'm happy to share.

• To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

• When fish are in a school, they sometimes take debate.

• A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.

• When smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

• The professor discovered that her theory about earthquakes was on shaky ground.

• The batteries were given out free of charge.

• A dentist and a manicurist married; they fought tooth and nail.

• A will is a dead giveaway.

• If you don't pay your exorcist, you may get repossessed.

• Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I'll show you A-flat minor.

• With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

• You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

• Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

• A boiled egg is hard to beat.

• When you've seen one shopping mall, you've seen a mall.

• Police were called to a day care center where a 3-year-old was resisting a rest.

• Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

• A bicycle can't stand alone. It is two tired.

•When a clock is hungry, it can go back four seconds.

• The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

• He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

• When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

• The fellow who fell into the glass-making machine made a spectacle of himself.

• Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

Helen Taylor's column appears periodically in the Dawson Community News.