I've never been a big fan of Valentine's Day.
Sometimes, I wish I could be - to be able to get caught up in the romance, the pink and red heart-shaped everything, the cards covered with sugary rhymes professing love.
I wish I could. But I can't.
I would love to wonder anxiously all day if a dozen roses will be delivered to me, or if some romantic dinner reservation had been made.
Neither will happen and that's fine.
If I get a card from my husband, that's OK, but I have come to learn not to expect one.
His romantic mishaps and misfires have become stuff of legend around our house and he's kind of comforted by knowing there's not a whole lot of expectation from him when it comes to any holiday that normally sends most men into a panic.
I don't care about those romantic trappings - but I wish I could.
When my friend Amy and I were shopping one day, we stopped to look at all the Valentine candy and gifts in the aisle. I realized then, Valentine's Day is big business in retail.
It's no longer the heart-shaped boxes of candy or those nasty conversation hearts.
No, Valentine's Day has invaded the candy aisle and if it could be wrapped in red, made into a heart shape or be stuck to a tiny pink teddy bear, it's been given the Valentine's makeover.
Even Reese's peanut butter cups now come heart shaped for the fake holiday.
Peeps - those nasty sugar puffs that were normally only available at Easter have even been created into vanilla hearts.
I was amazed at the selection and felt like my favorite candies had been somehow blasphemed at the same time. Was nothing left untainted from Cupid's bow?
But Amy is a true romantic at heart and loves Valentine's Day to the point she even had me picking out some red plastic flute glasses with hearts on the stem.
"I can put Cole's juice in them on Valentine's Day," I announced, knowing my child loves the day far more than I do. He's a romantic at heart too; where he got it, I just don't know.
Amy studied me curiously for a few minutes.
"You don't love Valentine's Day?" she asked.
I shrugged. "Eh, not really. It's not a big deal to me."
I gave her a brief Cliff Notes version of the ghosts of Valentine's past with Lamar and she laughed but empathized with my romantic suffering.
"I'm not going to get too worked up over a holiday that he's not exactly good with. Brushing the dog's teeth -Lamar's great at that. I'm not. Getting me a card at Valentine's Day ... not so much."
Amy laughed. "Oh come on. Surely there's one thing you enjoy about Valentine's Day! Every girl loves Valentine's Day."
I looked at the shelves loaded with the Reese's, the Snickers, the boxes of candy and sighed my acquiescence. "Yup," I began, "On Feb. 15, these bags will be 50 percent off."
Sudie Crouch is an award-winning humor columnist and certified life coach. She lives in the north Georgia mountains with her family and four insane, but fairly well behaved dogs.