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Hair of the dog
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Dog hair is my arch nemesis.

It doesn't matter how much we sweep, there are always dust bunnies made of fur lurking in the corner.

The Swiffer vac helped somewhat but dog hair seems to multiply if it finds sanctuary under couches and other pieces of furniture.

We have moments daily of wondering if something is a spider or a furry tumbleweed rolling across the floor.

Friends told me at first that having three German shepherds was the cause of the constant battles.

"They don't call them German shedders for nothing," the friend said.

That's not far from the truth; Venus could shed on command.

Those pups did produce a tremendous amount of shedding by-product.

When Lamar went to pick Cole up at school one day and was faced with finding his jacket in a pile of other small, similar looking outerwear, he asked Cole which one was his.

"It's easy," Cole had responded. "The one with the dog hair on it."

It's like they are marking us as their territory in a furry fashion.

As I was heading out one day, Ava made sure to lean against me with a full body press to ensure her fur was firmly stuck to my black leggings.

"Ava!" I groaned. "Why did you do that?"

The oversized pup looked at me innocently. I am sure she wants any random dogs I encounter to know I already have pups at home to give treats to.

I am quite sure other dogs think I am part canine when they meet me. To add insult to the furry layer on my clothes, Doodle likes to curl up in baskets of clean laundry.

"Of course, she does," Mama said. "She doesn't want to lie on dirty clothes."

Pumpkin, the perpetual good girl, doesn't shed as much as the other two nor does she try to put a protective coating of fur on me when I leave.

Where does all the fur come from?

"It's really your little pit that does all of the shedding," Lamar declared one day.

I refuted that statement, saying she is short-haired and most of the time, needs a sweater to stay warm, even in the spring.

He shook his head. "Nope, it's Doodle. Look at her."

I did. Her chunky adorableness was curled up on the couch sleeping.

He always blames her for everything and we deduced it was simply because she wasn't a German shepherd.

But there she was, peacefully snoring in her sleep like a little angel.

Sensing she was being talked about, she stirred from her slumber and slid off the couch, giving her chubby self a shake.

And when she did, fur floated off of her like it was her own little stratosphere.

"See," Lamar said. "She's like Pig Pen from Peanuts. She has a halo of fur!"

Doodle, thinking she was in trouble, ran to hide behind my legs, rubbing a fresh layer of caramel colored fur onto my leggings.

I tried to soothe her by petting her, which caused more fur to float off of her.

I couldn't refute the evidence in front of me. She was actually shedding more than the German shepherd.

"She's the reason there's always so much fur everywhere," Lamar argued.

I am not sure why he relished blaming Doodle; the super-shedder adores him and he lets her get away with stuff he hasn't let other dogs.

"That's your shedder though. That's why we need to sweep a million times a day."

He was probably right.

But you know what?

I used to worry about the dog hair more than I do now.

I fussed about it.

I said that I couldn't believe I had all those dogs in my house and on my furniture.

I complained about how every time I left the house, my clothes had a swath of dog hair on them.

And then, I lost three pups within a month and there was much less dog hair.

When I found a tuft of fur under the furniture, I wondered if it had been some of Venus's fur, or Roubaix's or maybe Pepper the evil beagle.

We didn't have to Swiffer twice a day.

I swore then and there, if I ever had a pack again, I would not fuss.

I would know the tumbleweeds and fur bunnies meant I had pups to love.

And the fur on my clothes would mean I was well loved too.

I looked down at the leg of my pants the other day.

They were covered with dog hair.

I didn't even try to brush it off.

Sudie Crouch is an award winning humor columnist and author of the novel, "The Dahlman Files: A Tony Dahlman Paranormal Mystery."

 

 

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