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Enough is enough, I feel like a drowned rat

POSTED: July 17, 2013 4:00 a.m.

"When does school start back?" Cole asked the other day.

"In a few weeks," I replied, not absolutely sure of the exact date.

"Do you think it will stop raining by then?" he asked. "Because I would like to go outside before I have to go back to school."

I could understand. I have felt like a waterlogged rat the last few months as the rain has poured continuously.

When it first began, I didn't like it but knew it was needed, especially since the weather people on the news would tell us how many inches the lake was down.

"It's good for the lake," they would say with a smile whenever they predicted four days of rain.

"If one more person says it's good for the lake, I am going to punch them in the nose," I declared. That was the end of May.

It's now mid-July. No one is worried about the lake levels anymore. They are worried about if they can trade in their SUV for a boat.

"It's never going to stop raining!" Cole exclaimed again, looking out the door at the sheet of rain that pelted the deck.

There have been jokes of needing an ark, and that animals are pairing up in twos. I am just depressed and needing some natural vitamin D. And this is from a girl who only sees nature when she is walking from her car into a building.

I found an article on a Web site that said Seattle only got an average of 36 inches a year. I think I saw something that said our general area has had about an inch a day for the month of July.

It's been said that the residents of Seattle are more prone to depression.

I can see why. I am so miserable from being stuck inside that I want to scream. Or more appropriately, cry.

The rain has interfered with picnics I wanted to take with Cole. Even if it wasn't raining, the ground was too soggy. And it would rain at some point anyway - usually. The preferred time was when Cole and I arrived somewhere or were on the road towards our destination.

But I have altered plans based on the rain.

And I was even going to take up hiking this summer had it not been so wet.

OK, that's a lie, but I am sure y'all knew that.

But still. I can't even walk out in my yard without wearing a tarp to keep dry, so I wouldn't even think of traipsing up a mountain.

I used to wonder why Seattle had all those coffee shops - now I know. Unceasing rain makes you sleepy. You feel like drinking copious amounts of coffee will wake you up. It doesn't, but your bladder will when you dose off in the chair.

People who used to ask "Is it supposed to rain today?" now ask "What time is it supposed to rain?"

We won't even discuss how the Weather Channel is never accurate for the weather up here. I'm convinced there's an invisible line that hits the map saying any cities in the northern portion of the state have their own weather system.

Mama got upset because I went to get groceries Friday evening and got caught in a horrible downpour. "You should have stayed home if you knew it was going to rain!"

"I didn't know it was going to rain. It had rained earlier, the sky looked fine when I left" was my response.

"You should have known it would rain again then," was her reply. "You shouldn't have gone anywhere knowing it could possibly rain again."

"Then, Mama, I would never leave the dingdang house!"

I am thankful for the rain, but I am tired of it. I am also thankful it is not currently below freezing where we would have ice or snow. I am thankful I don't have to work out in the elements but can sit inside.

I think what happened is all those prayers for rain a few years ago were finally heard and the rain has just poured in and won't stop. That's what I think. The floodgates literally were opened.

But I am ready for it to stop, and to see that unfamiliar shiny orange thing that I complain about too, the thing that makes me sweaty and gives me more freckles. I think it's called the sun, not sure, it's been so long since I have seen it.

If not, I may move to Seattle - it surely couldn't be any worse and by then, I should be used to it.

Sudie Crouch is an award winning humor columnist and author of the recently e-published novel, "The Dahlman Files: A Tony Dahlman Paranormal Mystery."

 

 

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