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The only thing wrong with women

POSTED: August 8, 2012 4:00 a.m.

"I am so glad I am not a woman," one of my guy friends commented recently. "You have to ‘heehee' and ‘ooo' over each other. All y'all do is talk all the time. That's what's wrong with all of y'all."

True, women talk. Some of the things we talk about are not necessarily that important and most men would deem it gossip.

We talk about celebrities, about fashion and where we can get the best shopping deals. And yes, we all know, women talk about our feelings and emotions when something's got up our craw.

Men don't talk about those kinds of things.

It's a documented fact men just communicate differently than women.

When men are upset, they can blow off steam and yell, or swear someone out and it's over. Men aren't compelled to talk about their feelings or what their subconscious motives were for eating a piece of cheesecake.

The males of our species just do it, without the guilt or the search for what caused them to stress eat in the first place.

So being the bearer of a double X chromosome that I am, I had to sit and stew over that comment for a while. And I determined that chattiness is not what's wrong with us.

No, usually, women are the ones that no matter what we are going through, we have a smile on our face, a kind, encouraging word for those around us when what we really want to do is get in a padded wailing room and cry.

Most folks don't know what burdens we are carrying on our shoulders, whether they are emotional, physical or financial, because women have to hold everything together for someone else - a spouse, a child or sometimes a parent.

As women, we are caregivers to so many other people in our lives each day, we forget to give ourselves any of that tender loving care and put everyone else's needs above our own.

I know as a woman there have been times I have dealt with things that I didn't necessarily want to share with anyone but Mama, so instead of blowing up, or swearing someone out, I put a smile on my face and when asked how I was doing, I responded with "fine." Then secretly ate half a cheesecake in private.

While women do tend to talk about a lot of things - everything - we also hold a lot in, and carry a lot so our own little worlds will keep a-turning a little bit smoother.

Some credit it to our innate nurturing level; even the comic strip "Doonesbury" declared our gender to have more emotional intelligence recently, which may be why we will deal with what we're handed stoically so others in our life won't know what's going on.

We just know not everyone can handle some of the harsh realities of life. So we sometimes carry that burden alone, putting everyone else first, until we have a brief respite from it to talk to a good girl friend.

My phone rang that night. It was my dear friend Sara Jean. I grabbed a glass of wine and scurried to my sanctuary on the porch for a nice long giggle filled chat.

An hour later, my shoulders felt a little less weary and my tummy hurt from laughing so hard. My guy friend was right; women do have to talk all the time - sometimes about silly, nonsensical stuff. But there's definitely nothing wrong with that.

If anything, it's necessary.

Sudie Crouch is an award-winning humor columnist and certified life coach. She lives in the north Georgia mountains with her family and four insane, but fairly well behaved dogs.

 

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